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: Cole...... : Well, I think he got around. : I may have known him, I may not have, but I think I might have....... : He was a shifty character, that one....... : He once told me "There is no money to be made dating rich little girls...It's the money their old : man shell out to make you go AWAY that makes it worthwhile..." : Yeah, he was something..... : We got into all kinds of messed up schemes.... : We ran this scam one time with a homeless guy we picked up after a night of hard drinking in : Lake City.....We made him wear a picture of this United Way office manager around his : neck.....with the words, "If you find me, please take me to find my special friend!" written real : official like...with this fake institution address on it..... : I didn't really know how Cole was gonna pull this off, but he had a way with that kind of shit.... : He was...gifted..... : This bum couldn't read or write, so we got him real drunk then Cole shot the poor fuckers : tongue up with Novacaine then shoved a really hungry, pissed off, squirrel down the guys : pants....... : So, this poor sap is going BALLISTIC, right?.... : Cole points him at the front door of the office, and we hightail it around the back....... : This guy is running around inside the store, he can't talk cause his tongue is all numb- all he : can say is"AAaAAaaaaaOOooOOOoaAAaaUUu!!!!!!",alarms are going off, security thinks he's : like the managers fucked up Little Brother because of the card around his neck, they're trying : to restrain him, they have his arms so he can't do ANYTHING, including get the squirrel out of : his pants, all the while this squirrel is just ripping into him, and all the while he's flopping around : like someone in a palsy.....man, it was chaos. : It was fucking beautiful. : Cole had the back door jimmied in a heartbeat, we were in and out before anyone knew a : thing....... : Seems Cole had somehow found out that this was the day when all the donations came into : this central office to get added up and be deposited in the bank...... : We started grabbin' wads of cash, all of it untraceable.... : We were in and out real quick. : We split up out back. : He took the stuff, while I led the cops on a merry chase. : We were supposed to meet up later and split the money up......But I never saw him again. : I can't say that I was real sorry to hear that someone did him in. : His name was Cole... : I don't know if it was the SAME Cole, but it could have been. : He DID once say "Vermin, you'd never believe the things I've seen and done..." : Yeah, was that "Cole"? : I don't know all of what he had seen and done........ : And I don't wanna ever know.... : WAS that "Cole"? : I find myself wondering...................... : Ah, it's pointless......ya know? : V : The squirrel got away clean.......and probably a little wiser. : : : Dear Friends: : : In the interest of saving this discussion list from the eternal flames of Hell-Fire and Internet : Anonymity, towards which it is surely headed should we, its distinguished constituents, persist : on our present path of unbridled and, quite frankly, off-topic reparte', I do hereby propose to you, : my most gracious fellow Deadbolters, certain rules and regulations whereby to guide our : insatiable appetite for electro-communication in this here public forum of the megabytes: : : 1. No longer shall we post lewd, lascivious, sexually charged, proctologically oriented, : maliciously intentioned or denigrating commentary of any kind towards another poster, unless, : of course, such poster happens to be Patrick, who shall from this point forwards be referred to : exclusively as Patrique (with a "q"). : : 2. Items relevant to the actual object of our affections, the so-called pop combo Deadbolt, shall : be paramount and foremost in our priorities of discussion. Acceptable areas of relevance shall : include, but not be limited to: : : A. The Deadbolt Sound : : B. Technical Tips and Treasures : : C. Lyrical interpretation : : D. Cole: who He was and what He saw : : E. Specific performance reviews and evaluations,either : : positive or negative -as long as you were there : : F. Miss Diana Death: is she the "fifth" Deadbolt : : (realizing that there are more than four original : : members, but you get the idea, jerk-offs!) : : G. Suggestions for the next Deadbolt album concept/theme : : H. Personal observations on the difference Deadbolt has : : made in your life : : Submitted for your approval, I remain : : Under Quarantine, : : Chancaca!