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: : : : : : Marilyn Manson Now Going Door-to-Door to : Shock : : : People : : : : OVERLAND PARK, KS--Stung by flagging album : : : sales and Eminem's supplanting him as Middle : : : America's worst nightmare, shock rocker : Marilyn : : : Manson has embarked on a door-to-door tour of : : : suburbia in a desperate, last-ditch effort to : : : shock and offend average Americans. : : : : Accompanied by bandmates Twiggy Ramirez, : : : Madonna Wayne Gacy, and Zim Zum, Manson : kicked : : : off his 50-city "Boo" tour Jan. 26 in : Overland : : : Park, a conservative, middle-class suburb of : : : Kansas City. : : : : "When we first laid eyes on Overland Park, : with : : : its neat little frame houses, immaculately : : : landscaped lawns, and SUVs in the driveways, : we : : : couldn't wait to swoop down on it like the : Black : : : Death," said Manson, born Brian Warner in : Canton, : : : OH. "We were like, 'Welcome to our nightmare, : you : : : bloated, pustulent pigs.'" : : : : Last Friday at 4 p.m., Mark Wesley, 46, a : : : resident of Overland Park's exclusive Maple : Bluff : : : subdivision, heard the sound of "animal-like : : : shrieking" coming from the vicinity of his : front : : : lawn. Upon opening his : : : : front door, he was greeted by the sight of : a : : : pale and shirtless Manson carving a pentagram : : : into his chest with a razor blade. : : : : "Look at me, suburban dung," Manson told : : : Wesley. "Does this shock you?" : : : : When Wesley replied no, he said Manson : : : became "petulant." Recalled Wesley: "He : started : : : stamping his feet and shaking his fists, : : : saying, 'What do you mean no? Aren't your : : : uptight, puritanical sensibilities offended? : : : Don't you want to censor me so you don't have : to : : : confront the ugly truth I represent?' So I : : : say, 'Well, not particularly.' Then, after a : long : : : pause, he says, 'Well, screw you, jerk!' and : : : walks off sulking." : : : : That evening, Linda Schmidt was preparing : to : : : drive her daughter Alyssa to a Girl Scouts : : : meeting when she found Manson standing on her : : : porch draped in sheep entrails. : : : : "I knew who he was, but I was kind of busy : and : : : didn't really have time to chat," Schmidt : : : said. "He just kept standing there staring at : me, : : : expecting me to react in some way." : : : : Added Schmidt: "I tried to be nice and : humor : : : him a little. I said, 'Yesiree, that sure is : some : : : shocking satanic imagery, no doubt about it. : And : : : that one eye with no color in the pupil, very : : : disturbing. I'd sure like to suppress that.' : I : : : mean, what do you say to Marilyn Manson?" : : : : A deflated Manson remained on Schmidt's : porch : : : as she and Alyssa drove off. : : : : Subsequent attempts to provoke outrage were : met : : : with equal indifference. : : : : "[Manson] was standing at my front door : wearing : : : those fake breasts he wore on the cover of : : : Mechanical Animals," retiree Judith Hahn : : : said. "He said, 'My name is Marilyn Manson, : and : : : I'm here to tear your little world apart.' I : : : thought he was collecting for the Kiwanis : food : : : drive, so I gave him some cans of pumpkin-pie : : : filling." : : : : Undaunted, Manson and his entourage stepped : up : : : their assault on mainstream American : : : sensibilities. On Tuesday, they arrived in : the : : : tiny Detroit suburb of Grosse Pointe Farms, : where : : : stockbroker Glenn Binford answered his : doorbell : : : to find Manson hanging upside-down on a : wooden : : : cross as Ramirez performed fellatio on him. : : : : "I just stood there thinking, now there's a : boy : : : who tries way too hard," Binford said. "I : mean, : : : come on: Homoerotic sacrilege went out in the : : : late '90s." : : : : Other provocative acts by Manson--including : : : dismembering a chicken, bathing in pig's : blood, : : : and wearing a three-piece suit of human noses- : - : : : failed to arouse anyone's ire, instead : prompting : : : comments such as "sophomoric," "trite," : and "so : : : Alice Cooper." : : : : Manson's lone brush with controversy : occurred : : : in Edina, MN, a suburb of Minneapolis. An : : : unidentified neighborhood-watch volunteer : phoned : : : police after seeing a nude, feces-smeared : Manson : : : being led around on a leash by a dwarf : : : dominatrix. Officers arrived on the scene, : but : : : let Manson go with a warning for parading : without : : : a city permit. : : : : "I could have given him a citation, but I : : : figured, how much harm is he really causing?" : : : Edina Police Officer Dan Herberger said. "I : mean, : : : he's just Marilyn Manson, for the love of : Mike." : : : : The "Boo" tour was dealt a further blow : when : : : Manson learned that Eminem's "The Marshall : : : Mathers" LP had been banned from all Kmart : : : stores. Manson's current album, "Holy Wood : (In : : : The Shadow Of The Valley Of Death)," is still : : : available. : : : : "Why are all you people outraged by Eminem? : : : He's not scary!" Manson said. "He doesn't : sport : : : ghoulishly pale skin or wear gender-bending : make- : : : up. He's just some regular guy. I'm the one : who : : : people should be terrified by, not him! Me!" : : : : "If you ban me," Manson continued, "I : promise : : : to rail against censorship and hypocrisy. : Please? : : : Pretty, pretty please?" : : : : By Monday, the tour appeared to have lost : all : : : momentum. Sources close to Manson described : him : : : as "exhausted and discouraged," despite not : : : having even completed the first leg of the : three- : : : month tour. By the time he arrived in Hoffman : : : Estates, IL, Manson had resorted to leaving : : : flaming bags of dog feces on doorsteps and : : : shining a flashlight under his chin to make : : : himself look "spooky." He was ultimately : chased : : : from a Hoffman Estates subdivision by a group : of : : : bicycle-riding teenagers who advised him : to "get : : : [his] chalk-white goblin ass" out of their : : : neighborhood. : : : : On Friday, Manson is slated to appear in : : : Bethesda, MD, where many believe he will : bring : : : his tour to a premature end. : : : : "Have you people forgotten already?" Manson : : : told The Washington Post. "You all thought I : was : : : responsible for Columbine two years ago. : Well, I : : : was! I was! I know I vehemently denied it at : the : : : time, but, really, I personally told those : two : : : kids to shoot up the school. I'm serious. I : sent : : : them an e-mail. And I told them to worship : Satan, : : : too. You hear that, kids? Marilyn Manson says : you : : : should shoot your friends in the head with a : gun! : : : And everyone should eat babies! And rape : their : : : dead grandparents! And poop on a church! : There, : : : now will someone please be offended?" : : : : : : : : www.theonion.com : : : Great site, Dr. Drag. : : Anyone know where I can get some sex? : Yeah,right here darlin�