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: ...Chancanca, she's almost ready to surrender! I : can tell. I know a little bit about her, and when : she protests like that, it's a defense against : her own heating passions! You can't give up now : Chacaca, not this close! Now she'll email R.A. : MacLean and ask him to challenge you. Don't : worry, this is because she has to make sure your : love is firm and real, not just the passing fancy : of a playboy. Many have given up at this point : but you must capture her passions fully to win : her over Cancaca. What she likes at this point is : poetry. You must use your poetic skills to sing : to her. She likes poems of dead people. I know, I : know, it's tough comprising a sonnet of a rotting : corpse, but try your best, in the vein of Edgar : Allen Poe. Don't give up Chanana! : : My Dearly Beloved Diana: : : One hurts those most whom one loves most! I : knew : : that, given enough time,your fondness for me : : would begin to grow and mature, like a flame : : being fanned by the hot Santa Ana winds that : : whisper your name to me almost every night... : : I am sure that this very flame, now but a mere : : spark, will eventually rise and consume us both : : in a maelstrom of passion and desire that will : : know no bounds. : : Another thought: hows' about we ask Deadbolt : to : : play the wedding fete? I understand they only : : ask for $250 up front plus a case of beer (no : Bud : : Lite). We can handle that, right? You decide : on : : the floral arrangement (please no black roses - : : they depress me so). : : BTW - Christopher Walken has been dead, God : rest : : his evil soul, for over three years (despite : : recent Hollywood cameo appearances). Bobby : : DeNiro is/was a personal friend of mine and is - : : how can I put this in as delicate a manner as : : possible -quite happily gay. : : Your Future Fiance' : : Chancaca! : : : Chancaca, : : : At present, I am only accepting marriage : : proposals from Robert DeNiro and Christopher : : Walken. Unless: you happen to be extremely : : wealthy and willing to write me in as sole : : benefactor to your estate; THEN we might have : : something to talk about! But, you'll have to : : understand that the marriage will never be : : consummated, and that shortly after the : nuptials : : you will meet with a very unfortunate fatal : : accident...